The Art of Unlearning Top Experts Share Personal Stories on the Power of Perseverance

In 2017 I was fortunate to work alongside x powerhouse female entrepreneurs to create the much-anticipated anthology THE ART OF UNLEARNING: Witting CHOICES FOR EMPOWERED LIVING. Our collaboration explores the art of 'unlearning' all the explicit and implicit messages we hear every bit we grow up, in social club to be ourselves fully and to live life on our own terms.

The book is a collection of inspirational stories past women who have thrown off the shackles, rewritten their ain life rules and overcome difficult obstacles to find a way to live from their heart and thrive.

When the two instigators of this cute collaboration – Lisa Marie Pepe and Divya Parekh – put out their telephone call for authors early on in 2017 with their title 'The Art of Unlearning', I knew I had to be a function of the project. 'Unlearning' has been the cardinal theme of my life journeying so far and is at present at the middle of my work as a coach who is passionate about helping women live a life true to their hearts.

What is 'Unlearning'?

When we're growing upward nosotros unknowingly absorb a multitude of messages in the form of parental and societal expectations well-nigh what it means to be 'a good person', or 'successful' or 'morally correct'. Sometimes those messages are in alignment with our ain personal truth, and sometimes they're not. When you try to conform to those expectations that don't experience true for you, yous stray from your authentic self and you end upwards feeling frustrated, empty or unfulfilled as a result.

And if you stray far enough away from your true cocky, you tin can finish upwards depressed or unwell. Prolonged negative feelings and emotions are your own internal guidance system, designed to warning you when you're out of alignment with your personal truth. Equally you'll find out in the volume, the more I personally tried to suppress or ignore my own negative feelings in my journey of life, the more miserable and unwell I became.

It wasn't until I started acknowledging,listeningto and acting on those emotions that things started to modify for the better.

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At that place is almost definitely an 'art' to figuring out what is true for each of u.s.a., and it is equally an 'fine art' to live your life in accord with that truth. 'Unlearning', as the word suggests, requires that yous start unlearn everything that y'all accept assumed is 'true', in order to learn a new manner of thinking and behaving.

To encompass new ways of viewing the globe and to re-shape your life within of those new beliefs, y'all start need to unlearn any limiting mental models, false internal narratives or beliefs that you've adult and embraced throughout your life.

And because adapting new beliefs requires you to change, it can feel uncomfortable.

In the foreword of our book, Literary Strategist Ann Weber uses a great analogy for unlearning: Learning to drive a automobile on the 'other' side of the road. When you lot go to a country that drives on a different side of the road to what you lot're used to, it takes a lot of effort, small-scale mistakes, feelings of discomfort and persistence earlier y'all can forget how to drive on the side that you're used to, in order to drive effectively on the 'other' side.

And the same goes for adapting any new belief or behaviour; we offset take to forget about how we used to think, and really consciously and proactively Choose to believe and human activity in a new way. And it's so easy to sideslip back into the 'old way'. Which is why we all demand guidance and back up during any period of modify – to continue usa on the path we truly desire to walk.

In our book THE ART OF UNLEARNING, nine different women share their ain stories nearly what led them or, in many cases, forced them, to unlearn outdated ways of thinking, in order to shape their own lives in accordance with their personal truth and center. The book is an uplifting, inspiring read that will – I hope – inspire you to dig deeper to find your own personal truth and to make witting choices to align yourself more closely to it.

Below I share the 5 powerful myths, messages, and beliefs that I personally had to UNLEARN before it was possible for me to step into a new way of living for myself, in alignment with my heart and soul. You'll accept to get yourself a copy of the book in order to find out what happened to me – and 8 other women – as a result of assertive our societal myths … and how we plant ways to rebuild ourselves and our lives from the ashes of these false truths!

Do any of these sound familiar to you lot?

v POWERFUL MYTHS YOU NEED TO UNLEARN TO BUILD A LIFE YOU Love.

1. The things yous love doing and that experience easy are for 'hobbies'; non for a real job.

In high school, I loved languages, literature, and the humanities. They felt natural and easy to me; it was as though my brain was wired for them. I could sheet through exams with relatively little effort, in comparison to the maths and sciences subjects, which felt hard and dull and required huge amounts of effort to get decent grades. And yet, when it came time to choose a study at Academy, the well-intentioned people around me advised that I cull financial security by studying science & engineering, which I pursued for 15 years, at the cost of my overall personal happiness and health, equally you'll notice out more about in the book.

THE REAL TRUTH: The things that y'all love doing and that experience easy course an essential and very central part of your most blithesome and arable life path and purpose.

 2. Information technology's not applied or responsible to do what yous love.

It'southward non hard to empathize why our parents and teachers might take cautioned us into choosing security over joy. For many of our parents, their families had been busily trying to rise up out of the first 2 layers of the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow's Bureaucracy of Needs.

Emerging out of the post-low era, many of our Infant Boomer parents knew nothing just hardship and struggle growing up, which they passed onto us. But fortunately for many of u.s.a. today (particularly in the adult globe), we're experiencing unprecedented times of prosperity and we're at a stage in our homo evolution in which self-esteem and cocky-actualization are now possible.

THE Existent TRUTH: When you engage in activities you love, that you're proficient at and that you lot're passionate about, yous get magnetic and unstoppable and you find ways to brand an abundant income no affair what the circumstances. Doing what you dearest ensures that yous're the happiest and most balanced version of yourself, which has positive ripple effects to anybody in your life, both financially and emotionally. In bodily fact, it's irresponsible and non practical TO SUPPRESS your genuine desire to do what y'all love.

3. Others know what's all-time for you.

As children, we first out beingness very continued and in-melody with our ain hearts. And even so many of us are taught from a young age that our parents and teachers know what's all-time for united states and that nosotros tin can't trust our own inner impulses and desires. We're told that our dreams aren't possible, or realistic or applied. Over fourth dimension nosotros acquire to disconnect from our hearts as nosotros're forced to suppress the internal whisperings we hear, pushing them into the background as wishful thinking.

THE REAL TRUTH: Learning to connect to and trust the pure intelligence from your heart is the fastest path to living an authentic and joyful life.

4. You're not supposed to relish work. If it was fun, they wouldn't call it piece of work.

I truly used to believe this one and I exercise believe it's the reason I stuck it out in my career for so long, even though I felt so empty and miserable. As I was growing up, I understood piece of work to be a necessary evil to assist pay the bills. Equally I looked around me, it seemed that everyone who was 'successful' was working incredibly long hours and sacrificing much of their personal life for the demands of their task. And it seemed natural that I would have to do the same. But tin y'all think of someone you lot know who absolutely loves their piece of work and how they seem to just naturally THRIVE, emotionally AND financially? That's because we experience abundance in all areas of our life when we commit to doing what feels joyful.

THE Real TRUTH: Y'all ARE supposed to enjoy work. When your piece of work is accompanied by feelings of joy and positive emotion, you tap into an unlimited reservoir of creativity and potential that has limitless positive ripple effects. If you really don't enjoy your work, it'south a sign you demand to do something else! You're doing yourself and everyone else around you a disservice past sticking information technology out in a job you really don't like. Of form, every task has parts nosotros don't like. Simply if you lot don't come up dwelling house with a genuine, overall feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction at the end of each calendar week, peradventure it's fourth dimension to start doing some deep self-reflection to find out how you lot can start realigning your life with your ain personal truth and happiness.

5. Materialism and wealth are truthful signs of success.

This was certainly something that seemed true to me while growing up; that my success would be measured by the cloth possessions I'd be able to accrue. It certainly seemed to exist the mode everyone else measured each other's success. Unfortunately, the more than money I seemed to make, the more than miserable and empty I felt inside.

THE REAL TRUTH: The definition of 'success' is personal for anybody. For me personally, it's having mutually nurturing relationships and connections, existence able to spend fourth dimension with my precious friends and family, being able to brand a positive impact through my work, loving the work I exercise and the people I work with, having time to travel and experience the world and feeling a deep sense of joy and gratitude each and every twenty-four hours.

To find out about some of the other very existent and POWERFUL MYTHS that other women have struggled with in life, and how they've managed to UNLEARN them in society to live a life true to their hearts and THRIVE, go your copy of THE Fine art OF UNLEARNING: Conscious CHOICES FOR EMPOWERED LIVING today!

Please go out a annotate below if something resonated with y'all!

In service to helping you alive your brightest and fullest life,

Katie De Jong, Ph.D
Global Career Motorbus for Thriving Professionals
Inspired Careers International
www.katiedejong.com
katie@katiedejong.com

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